Busy Busy Busy

I like it when things are clean. I also like it when I can simply sit around and do nothing. Catch up on some TV, watch a movie, surf the web. Doing nothing on purpose is something I enjoy.

However, when keeping things clean interferes with my doing nothing nothing on purpose. I get in a mood. I want to clean everything and I want to clean everything NOW. I want things to work the way they are supposed to work and if they don’t I get… irritated.

Today is a day that started with me doing nothing on purpose gearing up for a full evening of work. It didn’t last long. I had a headache, I fell asleep, I woke up, I fell asleep again and then I got busy.

I cleaned stuff that hasen’t been cleaned in a long time. I got stuff organized and there is still A LOT to do. I have meetings to prep for, presentations to create, decisions to make and somewhere in there I’d like to eat too.

We can be very busy all time, always going, always working, always striving and still… sometimes, we never get anything accomplished.

The New Orleans Saints just won the Super Bowl… worked hard, played hard, coached hard… But no houses are going to be built because they won. The city is still in shambles. Yes… the morale is high. I’m not taking away from the fact that the joy of your team winning a world championship is a shot in the arm of perspective. But when push comes to shove, that trophy isn’t going to clean up the mess of parts of that city. It’s not going to hammer a single nail into word. It’s not going to create any jobs for the jobless.

We do those things. The people. We can’t forget that in the midst of our business, we also have to do stuff.

Sometimes I like to do work that keeps me busy because it makes me FEEL like I’m accomplishing something, when in reality I’m accomplishing little.

I don’t want to just FEEL. I want to DO.

Stay busy… on purpose. With purpose. Do Something.

andy ::

I Sat In A State Highway Patrolman’s Car Last Night…

Yesterday started slow. But it didn’t end that way.

Here’s my day from the time I wake up until I went to work.

9:00 – Wake Up (in the morning feelin’ like P. Diddy)
10:00 – Make Breakfast (eggs, bacon, and toast… delicious)
10:30 – Watch LOST (freakin’ crazy!)
1:00 – Go to Steph’s and hang out, have some lunch. Watch Cougar Town and Modern Family (I love DVR)
3:00 – Go to Refuge

Pretty straight forward day right? Nice and Simple? Here’s the rest of my day.

3:00 – Fight Wireless Internet Problems (extremely frustrating)
6:00 – Decide to Close Refuge 2 hours early because of the weather that is coming in.
7:00 – Close Refuge
7:15 – Call the Couple that is renting Refuge tomorrow for their wedding reception to see if they were still coming to set up that night. (They say yes)
8:15 – Still waiting for the couple to come to set up. Call them… they’ve decided not to come because the weather is pretty nasty…
8:53 – Leave Refuge to go home and pick up my dad’s truck, so I don’t have to drive my car to Steph’s (my car sucks in this weather). A friend is with me because the weather was too bad for him to drive home.
9:15 – At home, picking up the truck, get a call from the husband-to-be tomorrow. He asked if I could go BACK to Refuge and let them in because they realize they DO have to set up that night for Saturday’s reception.
9:20 – Back at Refuge.
9:30 – Waiting for the couple.
9:40 – Still waiting.
9:45 – Still waiting.
9:50 – Decide to leave the key to Refuge with a trusted friend who lives next door so he could let them in because we didn’t want to wait anymore.
10:00 – Go to pull in the friends driveway, truck starts slipping, headlights coming from the oncoming lane. Truck won’t move. Car won’t stop.
10:01 – Truck gets hit. Car spins out. Accident.
10:07 – Everybody is ok, cops have been notified.
10:20 – Highway State Trooper Shows up, takes statements, pictures.
10:50 – I sat in the Patrolman’s car while he asked me a bunch of questions about what I was doing and what the other guy was doing.
11:00 – Patrolman assures me that he feels both of us were partially at fault and due to the treacherous conditions he is not going to cite either of us (phew!)
11:13 – I drive home. Desperately wanting to just go to Steph’s and cuddle under a blanket. But – to be safe – she just wants me to go straight home.
1:25 – Time for sleep.

That’s my day.

How was yours?

andy ::

Helpful vs. HelpLESS

I was at work the other day doing some stuff before we opened, when a young man walks up to the door and peeks in. He doesn’t know that I see him. I start walking to the door as he wipes the condensation away from the window created by his breathing. I pop the door open and he rushes in.

Speaking quickly, he tells me that he needs to talk to me because there is some stuff going on. He goes on to tell me about some relationship stuff he’s going through and how he wants to help, but he doesn’t know exactly what to do. We talked for about an hour.

Somewhere in the conversation I made a statement that surprised even me. I said:

“It’s one thing to give of yourself to help others, it’s something completely different to ruin your own life just to keep somebody else from being offended.”

He looked at me like a hurricane of words just hit him the face and stomach. I realized that the statement had a lot of weight to it because of the situation he was in. So I repeated, hoping it would really sink in.

Than I thought about it for myself. How do I do with that? Do I compromise too much? Do I try to keep other people from being offended that I sacrifice parts of who I am?

Author John Eldredge says it much better, he says, “Let people feel the weight of who you are and let them deal with it.” What a freeing concept! Let people know who I am, let them feel the presence of Andy, and if they don’t like it, I can’t be caught up in defense of who I am. I need to just let them deal with it.

There’s a young man that comes to Refuge that is full or amazing promise and potential. He was at the computer doing some work and he calls me over and asks me if he could print something. I walk over to help him out and he shows me what he wants to print:

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”

-Marianne Williamson A Return to Love: Reflections on the Principals of A Course in Miracles

Let people feel the weight of who YOU are, and let them deal with it.

andy ::

Blue Pain, Blank Walls, New Perspective

I’m not a big fan of painting. I don’t mind it, but it’s not my favorite.

The taping, the drop cloth, the trimming… all the prep work is tedious. Once the roller is out though, it’s a breeze.

I was painting one of the rooms at Refuge today and I was being SO CAREFUL. Taking my time, making sure the brush didn’t slip from my hand, ever so gently placing the brush on that razor’s edge between the wall and the ceiling, trying to get as close to the crease as possible without getting blue paint all over the ceiling. It was slow-go for a while.

I’m not sure why I was so worried, because nobody ever looks at the crease between the wall and the ceiling do they?

Think about it. Nobody walks into a room and looks around pinpointing the paint job at the top of the wall. Some people might, I guess. But most don’t. So why was I so concerned?

The little things do make a big difference. Then I started thinking about how if I were to mess up, if i drop this paint brush, or get it on the ceiling, or drip excess paint all over the floor… or myself, it will be on their for a long time. Unless I get to it quickly and even then, the residue of my mistake will remain. You’ll see the remnants of the cool blue paint I was using.

You only get one shot with a paint loaded brush.

Sometimes – a lot of times – the same is true with our choices.

There are some amazing people over at POTSC.com that talk about being a person of the second chance, turning failures and shortcomings into success and examples of radical grace and integrity and I love that because God knows I need second chances.

Just because we get second chances doesn’t mean we should forget about the paint we’re using though. We can still be careful and wise about the choices we make. Taking time to remember that the small things make a big difference. Just because somebody doesn’t walk into a room and look at my paint job near the ceiling doesn’t mean I shouldn’t attempt to get it right the first time.

Just because people don’t see what you do in private doesn’t mean that you should compromise and make a mistake. Because although people may not see the mistake, they’ll see the residue of it. You might be able to clean up the majority of the mess, but some of the aftermath will remain. Just like the paint, reminding you of the mistake you made.

Oh yes, I’m a person of the second chance, but that doesn’t mean I want a free ticket to screw up all the time. I want to use my second chance as motivation to make the wise choice the FIRST time. Because we all fail, but that doesn’t mean we have to live in failure.

Paint on my friends.

andy ::

When Opportunity Knocks

My  basketball coach from high school had a poster hanging in his room. It was a picture of an empty basketball court with a lone basketball sitting at the foul line and the caption read, “You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take.”

While those inspiration posters have recently moved from popularity into sarcasm and humor, that picture still remains in my head. I remember thinking that when I was shooting a horrific percentage during a slump in my high school basketball season. I remember the first time I read it.

For some reason the concept of opportunity fascinates me. I never want to miss one opportunity. Think about this for a second. Every single thing that happens to you is an opportunity. Every. Single. Thing. There is nothing that goes on in your life that does not provide some type of opportunity.

The cashier ringing up your groceries. Opportunity.
The waiter at the restaurant. Opportunity.
The person that cut you off on the highway. Opportunity.
The accountant that screwed up your taxes. Opportunity.

Everything is an opportunity. You can choose to do something to make the situation better, or make it worse. It’s your choice.

John Maxwell says, “Life is 10% what happens to me and 90% how I react to it.”

What opportunities are you passing up because you’re caught up in the action rather than your RE-action.

Think about it.

andy ::

“Failure Is Not An Option”

We’ve all heard that phrase before. “Failure is not an option.” It’s usually stated when victory is simply the only solution to solve a problem. I heard it at basketball practices at hight school – as if the game about to be played was more than just a game. We hear it when we read the histories of war heroes and generals giving their speeches to the young soldiers far from home, simply hoping they can soon embrace the ones they left behind.

I say it to my fiancé in a different way. We’ve agreed that the big “D” word is not allowed to be said in our future married household. DIVORCE is not an option for us. No matter how bad things may get, or how frustrated we may become… we will not even consider the possibility of divorce being a viable option. It’s simply something that won’t be thought of as a potential avenue of solution. Which means we will be forced to come face to face and solve the problem in another way. A way that ends with us getting closer together and entering a completely different journey in our lives… TOGETHER.

It’s interesting to think about that phrase though, because failure happens. It is one of the few things in life that is guaranteed. I will let my wife down at times in our future. I will need to be somewhere and I’ll show up late, or she’ll desperately want me to listen to her and I will be distracted by something far more trivial and less important. I will fail her. I will – and do quiet often – fail myself. But what is failure if not an opportunity to start agin?

If I fail, I simply have to keep going, get back up, start over, pick up where I left off, don’t I? Whoever first said, “Failure is not an option” hopefully realized that success in the endeavor was only possible because of lessons previously learned in failure.

I’m not saying you shouldn’t strive to succeed in everything and be excellent and perfect in all your attempts. I’m simply saying that you will NOT be perfect and excellent in ALL your attempts. You will fail.

Will you fail because you choose to? Or will you fail because it’s simply part of the process of success. Just because “failure is not an option” doesn’t mean that it’s not going to happen. It simply means that you will not choose to fail.

I will fail my wife. I will never choose to fail her.

I will fail at programs or process in my job. I will never choose to fail at them.

I will forget things and let people down. I don’t want to choose to fail them.

Don’t fail yourself. Don’t choose to fail others.

Make failure one of those things that only happens because it’s bound to, not because of something you did — or didn’t — do.

andy ::

Crazy Morning

Here’s what happened to me this morning.

I pull out of my driveway, start driving down my street to make my first and only right turn of the trip, I’m about 1.5 miles away from work. I see a woman, bundled up from head to toe because the air is cold and sharp. She looked like a human hot dog wrapped in a sleeping bag.

She was coming from around the corner of the street by the stop sign and I could immediately tell she was in trouble. She sticks out her thumb, not because she liked my sweet car, but because she obviously needed a ride… somewhere.

I don’t usually pick up hitchhikers because, well you know, they can be scary. But she seems harmless and it was really cold so I decided to break from my tradition of driving quickly past while feeling bad and stopped to ask what was wrong.

“Can you give me a ride?” She asked through panic and tears. As I was about to respond and try to figure out what was going on she beat me to it.

“I really need a cigarette.” Panic was beginning to take this woman over.

A cigarette? I thought. Really?

I ask her if she had money for a cigarette because I wasn’t going to be able to buy her one. I did have a ten dollar bill in my pocket, but I’m not in the habit of buying cigarettes. She tells me that she will just ask the clerk for one, she only needs one, he’ll do it, all she needs is a black and mild. She reassured me that she would be able to obtain one. She sat in the passenger seat, completely frazzled and overwhelmed going on about how she hates her life and her phone got stolen and she thinks that living in Youngstown is turning her in to a racist.

It was a 90 second drive to the corner store where I told her I would take her, I really did have people that were waiting on me at work that I didn’t want to leave standing out in the cold.

I didn’t know what to do, honestly. I thought I should use this opportunity to tell her about Christ, but that felt so cliché to me, you know? She obviously isn’t in a state of mind where she can fully comprehend things, I wondered if me telling her that God loves her would only make things worse.

“If God loves me, why would I be feeling like sh*t!” I thought she might say. I didn’t want to put God in a corner. I tried my best to simply listen and nod along as she confessed her borderline racism and hatred for her own life. All the while searching for some profound 20 second life-changing sermon that would turn her world around. It never came.

The best I could do was mutter a simple “God bless you!” as she hopped out of the car on her way to her ever-so-precious black and mild. She replied, “I need it! God bless you too!”

Interesting. I thought. She knows she needs it. She knows there’s a God. She knows He’s capable of blessing her.

Maybe she is more prepared for a life changing moment after all. Because doesn’t life and death teeter on the edge of our decision to believe of deny that God truly loves us?

I hope the woman is ok. Maybe I’ll see her tomorrow, I’ll give her another ride if she needs a cigarette. This time, I hope I can speak some more truth to her… or her to me.

andy ::

A Small Thanks

Today I have the opportunity to go speak to a group of missionaries about Refuge. I get to share the mission and vision of reaching teenagers with the love of Jesus Christ to a group of people that spend their entire lives traveling to foreign countries, learning new languages, risking their lives day in and day out. It seems like I should be listening to them more than them listening to me.

I’m excited to hear some of their stories. While I’m not trying to diminish what I do, because it’s important to reach your backyard just as much as it is to go all over the world, I have a nice life here in the states. I have a home, a solid income, a car, Starbucks.

I’m thankful to all the people who’ve answered the call of God to travel the world and speak the message of Jesus Christ. Not just because they are speaking the message of Jesus Christ, but also because their stories remind me to remain humble in my mission. To work hard and with excellence.

Because the students I reach today, may be the missionaries of the world tomorrow.

Refuge Stickers!

Hey all,

I just posted some stuff over at the Refuge Blog. You need to check that stuff out!

We’ve got Refuge Stickers!

Here they are

Email me at adenen@gmail.com if you’d like one!

Stick ‘em. Take a picture. Email it to me.

andy ::

What I Love…

These are things I’m currently loving right now…

1. Having the Opportunity to get up and do what I do for a living every single day.
2. Lady Gaga. (Fascinating individual… and possibly a little crazy. Very cool.)
3. The team I have at Refuge to accomplish the vision of reaching young people.
4. Quotes. I’m always looking for new, profound, powerful quotes. I also wish I would’ve thought of them.
5. My amazing, beautiful, hilarious, spectacular bride-to-be.
6. As always, my family. They are simply awesome.
7. Starbucks White Chocolate Mocha
8. Sweet Tea.
9. Subway’s Footlong Chicken Bacon Ranch.
10. This dude’s blog. Ragamuffin Soul is so very cool.

So there you have it… a short list of some of my favorite things right now.

What are some of your favorite things?